Charlotte's Top 10 Things to do @ Grandma & Grandpa's This Weekend...

1. Violently oppose every attempt made by my mother to place me anywhere in and/or around my car seat UNLESS my complete Toy Story DVD trilogy is placed inside my silver-sequined-star travel bag, and positioned securely on my lap prior to buckling.

2. Completely annihilate my mother's misguided assumption that I will sleep at all, literally not one minute whatsoever, throughout the duration of our drive from Ellensburg to Tri-Cities (This logic will also be applied to the return trip.)

3. Insist that upon arrival at our destination, I be escorted immediately to the parking garage area, as it will be time to feed the kitties and I am of course, the only authorized person within a 50 mile radius whom can handle this task whilst visiting the Grandparents.

4. Do not, under any circumstances, go to bed prior to 12:00 pm Friday or Saturday night.

5. Do not under any circumstances, take a nap Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

6. Unremittingly, and I mean without recess, unless in my direct line of sight, inquire as to the whereabouts of Scout the cat...as if her exact location is in direct correlation to National Security.

7. Consume ONLY apple juice and crackers for the full 48 hours of the visit.

8. Reject any and all attempts made by my mother to change my diaper, hug, kiss or touch me in general, as I have demonstrated in the past that Grandpa and Grandma visits are reserved strictly for Grandma and Grandpa interaction only.

9. Partake in at least one earth-shattering, mother-shaming, toddler tantrum extravaganza.... in a public setting.

10. Play PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY....and be spoiled :)

Hot Chocolate, check.

Today is Free-Pastry Thursday.

I knew this because my mother woke up panicked, and I knew this based on the amount of commotion coming from the bathroom. These noises often sound like minor construction, however….

Despite the false severity of the bathroom goings-ons; it’s usually just the repeated dropping of every single cosmetic she owns, the hair dryer at least twice, some below the sink cabinet-crap shuffling, and a variety of other unidentified noises that routinely coincide with Free-Pastry Thursday.

On Free-Pastry Thursday my mother buys herself a coffee, and in return gets a FREE pastry for said purchase, and I of course, I get my hot chocolate.

When she impolitely barged into my bedroom like a feral rhinoceros I (understandably) refused to get out of my crib. After all, I was woken up by her bathroom shenanigans a good 45 minutes prior to my normal routine wake up time and was therefore in NO mood for the hullabaloo associated with changing my diaper, getting dressed, and brushing my hair.

She eventually forced me out of my pajamas and into my favorite jeans, embroidered Guess boot cut jeans and a little navy blue long sleeved t-shit that says, “Im Kind of a Big Deal”,this shirt is second in the line of my favorites behind my “I’m a Smart Cookie” shirt with chocolate chip cookies as the “o’s”.

Garment Genius.

I digress...

As she buckles me into the car seat I promptly demand to be covered with my fuzzy white car blankey, as it is quite nippley out this morning and of course Ms. Unorganized has apparently been too busy straightening her hair and throwing things around the bathroom to have time to warm up our bus of a vehicle. Rude.

We arrive at what I assume is some sort of hot chocolate distribution center, and thankfully my prediction is correct because in between insisting my mother change the radio station to “my song” and complaining about not having my cobalt blue binky , I see my mother pour a warm frothy beverage into my sippy cup….

It tastes almost better than apple juice, its velvety…its sweet and it makes my tummy warm……its hot freaking chocolate. 

I arrive at daycare in a euphoric chocolaty haze and don’t even flinch as my mom plops me down on the couch and kisses me goodbye…I am too busy floating along on my blissful cloud in hot chocolate heaven. 

Baby Blogging 101

My mom used to have a blog....and it was nothing but T.R.O.U.B.L.E. However, I think  I have compiled a list of full-proof tips on how to make my blog just as clever and entertaining yet not so earth-shattering and mildly offensive for some;

1. First rule about fight club; don't talk about fight club.
2. Don't talk about all my boyfriends.
3. Come up with more cleverly intricate associated nick names for people I talk about.
4. Don't talk about all my boyfriends.
5. Save the drama for my Mama- keep it simple ( After all, that is what facebook status updates are for...)

I figured that aside from setting these simple ground rules for my blog, and other baby blogs, I should discuss for my first topic something that is very near and dear to my heart; apple juice.

Apple juice is the greatest consumable beverage of all-time; fact.

I will drink it with a fox, I will drink it in a box, I will drink it from a sippy cup, when we run out Im like, what the...

My favorite kind of apple juice aka. God's gift to toddlers, is Mott's. Mott's 100% Apple juice is happiness in a glass (or princess Beauty sippy cup) but my mom keeps forcing me to only drink more water, I mean just because she doesn't like sugar and has an irrational fear of over-carb consumption shouldn't mean I have to sacrifice my undying enamoration (yes I made that up) with the worlds greatest beverage does it?!

Mott's %100 Percent Apple Juice Nutritional Facts

Serving Size: 8fl oz (240mL)
Servings per container: 8

Amount per serving: 120 Calories

CONTENTS	AMOUNT	% DAILY VALUE
Total fat	0 mg	0%
Sodium	10 mg	0%
Potassium	240 mg	6%
Total Carb	29 g	10%
Sugars	0 g
Protein	0 g

According to the North Dakota State University website, "Fresh Squeezed Facts; A Parent's Guide to to Juice"  for kiddos 1 and up parents should be limiting juice consumption "to two servings or less a day." and even MORE disheartening for juice like myself, the juice-hating adults over at about.com suggest that 

" one of the main problems with drinking too much juice is that it is filling, and will decrease your child's appetites for more nutritious  foods" and goes on further stating, “there are a lot of other more important dangers to your child's health, but drinking too much fruit juice can be a problem. According to the AAP, drinking too much juice can contribute to obesity, the development of cavities (dental caries), diarrhea, and other gastrointestinal problems, such as excessive gas, bloating and abdominal pain". 

So how am I supposed to go about rebutting these fictitious evil claims against apple juice? How will I wage the battle against this unfair vendetta? I don't know yet...because it is snack time, so I will have to revisit this later. But what do you think about this issue? Is it, or is it not okay to juice it up?